Sometimes hindsight sucks.

I know I made a lot of mistakes in the last year. I did things I'm not proud of. I said things I'm not proud of.

But I never lied. Not really.

Whenever I said "I'm okay" or "We're still friends" I always meant it. I never say things that I don't mean, unless i say stuff wrong but that's a whole other ball game.

I just wish I knew how to explain to them that I love them both.

That I never lied when I said we were okay as friends, because if it was a lie would I still be around?

I was hurt, I was angry. Hell part of me still is. But I wouldn't try so hard to hang out if I didn't still consider you guys my closest friends. It wouldn't have hurt so much to walk away for just one month to get my head back on straight.

I never would have told you my secret if I didn't trust you.

Cuz in the end...we all did wrong to each other. And I've been trying to make up for it for a while in any way I could.

And I'm still so terrified that you hate me.....